Relatable podcast 

Dr. Liz:
Hey, welcome to Relatable Relationships Unfiltered. Today I'm hanging out with Syd Jackson, mental health advocate and author, to chat all about how our mental health shows up in our relationships.
This is relatable relationships, unfiltered.
Sid, welcome to our show. I am highly entertained by your content. Please tell us how you got into this space and like where all of those ideas come from for you.

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Sid Jackson:
Well, first off, how you doing? I'm fine. Thank you for having me.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yes, absolutely.

 

Sid Jackson:
And regarding my content, our full transparency, I'm actually telling on myself, you know, just like and so what it is, is I give it off almost on a third person perspective. And then I sort of throw the smile, the dimples, the clothes behind it to capture your attention. But I'm going to give you something that's educational, relatable, or humorous. And as you as you see the comment, the engagement, I just like to. Ah. So to nudge people to get them to just look deeper into themselves, not take themselves so serious, but also in the same breath. Be transparent about your bullshit. Right. You know, and literally all I want to do is just show the world that it's okay to not be okay. But ultimately, being a human a how can I say it made to health humorists?

 

Dr. Liz:
Yeah. Yes. And that is our mission here at Relatable is that we are all human. Each and every one of us, no matter what we do for a living. And you had one the other day about parenting. You're like realizing you're parenting the kid that is you. And I'm like, Oh, shit. Yep. No, that's. That's me. My ex always laughs. He's like, You wanted a funny kid. This is your fault that he's such a smart ass. And I'm like, Yes, I know. So, yes. How did you get into doing what? What you do like ah Is your full time career in mental health or. No.

 

Sid Jackson:
I'm glad you asked that. I'm actually by day, I'm a human resource executive and operations director. I'm also a consulting business consultant. How I tapped into the mental health space is because full transparency. In 2017, I hit my wit's end. I was making the most money in the world at that time. Some of my vices was taking over my life and I was just miserable from the money I made to the house to where I was living. Going outside. I just felt like the world was attacking me. But according to the world and based off the image, this this is a perfect life. Enough was enough. And again, if I'm going to really, really dive deep and be true to who I am. 2017 I survived a suicide and it changed the dynamic, the trajectory of my life. I can go deeper and deep if you're ready for it, but ultimately life just started long and it got overly heavy for me and it was enough. And outside of being numb to what I was feeling, outside of feeling like I had no one to talk to, even though I have all these friends and family to talk to, I just felt like nobody was understanding what I was actually feeling. And again, enough was enough. I bought a new car, I had a custom suit, and I literally just wanted to I just wanted to end the pain. I wanted to end the internal suffering. And it didn't work. It didn't work. But there was a moment in my life where I felt literally, God, you know, people say, Oh, Jesus, take the wheel. You just take the wheel. I literally felt like he did it. And I literally stopped what I was doing and I stopped the prayed and I just screamed and I cried. And I felt like I was going through this for other people. I needed to go do this to first to change my mindset in how I was feeling about myself. I was being too hard on myself. I wasn't being curious. I was giving myself grace. But I needed to go through this for it to build the character of the man that I am today. So I decided to do something about it, and that was Heal. And the funny thing about my version of healing. I went to the doctor first, but when I say Doctor, how many times have you been sick or something? Didn't feel right and you went to Google like Web M.D.?

 

Dr. Liz:
Oh, sure, of course.

 

Sid Jackson:
Now, if you know anything about Web and you can have a headache and you'll say, oh, your legs are about to fall off, right?

 

Dr. Liz:
Yep.

 

Sid Jackson:
But I did that and I started to identify new new words, new vocabulary like depression, anxiety, PTSD, bipolar. And then I started to Google going back to the doctor. I went back to Dr. Google defined. I didn't know what the word was at the time, therapists, clinicians, that type of stuff. And then I realized none of them looked like me. And then I realized, what do I do? Because at that point in my life, I was I was so scared of just life that I needed someone to relate. Then I went, started my therapy. And again, I tell people this all the time. Therapy is a lot like dating. Absolutely not. It's not a one size fits all. And chances are you're going to probably have to go on one or two, maybe three or four days before you find someone who you feel vulnerable with. This truly opened up. And then from there, you know, I'm from 2017 and to the date today, I decided to not just live my life for work, but I wanted to live my life doing purpose, work and doing my story as someone else's roadmap. And that's why what you see on my page where I say I'm telling on myself, those are my journal inserts I took try humor to it.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yeah, no, I love that. And thank you so much for sharing that and for your own vulnerability and transparency in that experience. I really do think that is so relatable for a lot of people in terms of living and my clients say it all the time, like, what do I have to complain about? Why would I be depressed? I have the job, I have the family, I have the beautiful girlfriend, I have the, you know, all the things. What do I have to be depressed about? And I really appreciate your transparency in that, that you can have all those things and you can still have anxiety and depression and PTSD and unresolved trauma. And the list goes on and on that. And those things don't give a fuck what your salary is with PTSD. Yeah, So I appreciate that. That's a powerful message.

 

Sid Jackson:
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for allowing me to share that. And again, I literally use my social media as a tool to get into people's minds, into their heads, into their holes. Again, when we walk outside this door, I'm sorry, that's my front door. When we walk outside that door, many of us, I just felt like I had to put on this mask of somebody who I wasn't and was on the inside. And it just got I got tired, I got heavy, I got tired of crying and I got tired of complaining. I got tired of people just not understanding what I'm going through. So you know what I need to do? I need to remove myself out of the situation. But again, thank God, thank God he put me in that position to finally hear him.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yeah. Yeah. Were you in a relationship when all that was happening?

 

Sid Jackson:
I was. I was and felt she was trying. But now that I'm a little bit more mature, share trauma is not a relationship.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yeah.

 

Sid Jackson:
Yeah. And as I was battling, she was battling. And I couldn't help her. She couldn't help me. She's adding more to my baggage. Whether it was money, whether it was intimacy, whether it was her children, whether it was the bills, it was just becoming too much. So if you take money off the table, what we got love wasn't enough. So that relationship, I don't want to necessarily call it toxic, but sometimes rejection is your blessing.

 

Dr. Liz:
Right?

 

Sid Jackson:
And that's what it ended up being for me.

 

Dr. Liz:
And so had you guys broken up prior to this, the event that took place, or did you. Was that part of your healing process? Was recognizing, okay, some things have got to go or I mean, as much as sharing with that.

 

Sid Jackson:
Yeah, we broke up prior to that because I'm going to be very honest with you. The intimacy stopped. I wasn't myself. I did. I was young, but I still just wasn't in the mood. And then everything started to bother me from being in the house to me hearing certain noises to certain things that she would say to me that I at the time I didn't realize they were triggers, but I, I, I would snap, I would, I would talk to her in a way that I wouldn't I would not want someone to talk to my child or to my mother. And I. We was literally we just became roommates at that time and then enough was enough access to move out. She did. And so I ended up moving out, leaving her the place. And that's when I believe I started to identify what was wrong with me or or identified that I actually needed the help.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yeah, yeah. What, what your role was in, in that situation. How, how do you see and I mean you just describe quite a bit of it, but how your mental health impacted that dynamic. So it sounds like kind of you're feeling irritable or getting triggered easily. Like when you reflect back, what was the impact of that unresolved those on resolved mental health struggles on your relationship?

 

Sid Jackson:
Um, it affected my ability to fulfill certain roles and responsibilities within my relationship. It led to shifts in a division of our labor or necessity and flexibility of understanding how to approach each other. It affected how I responded to her or my receptiveness. I've identified that it wasn't love, it was more tolerance. And ultimately I. I realized that if I don't love myself, there's no way I can pour into loving someone else. I was truly pouring from an empty cup, but still playing house, saying, You know what? I'll be fine. Oh, it'll be okay. Oh, this will pass. And it was the blind leading the blind. And it was we were bound for destruction. And then ultimately it became a little bit physical. She started to put her hands on me because of how I was communicating with her. And now that I'm older and I've done and I continue to do some of the personal and self-development work, it was verbally abusive. I was speaking to her in the manner in which, again, it was unacceptable. And now that I take full accountability for it, I, I found that she found grace to see my evolution, see what I'm doing now. She's accepted my apology, so deep down I feel great now, you know. But back then it was some of the darkest and some of the darkest moments in days of my life. And if I have someone next to me who I see every single day in this person's presence now become a trigger before things got entirely too out of hand, it was just best that we separated.

 

Dr. Liz:
And I think that's something that people don't talk about enough is is the impact of, first of all, that you are drawn to people who trigger you, which is the really screwed up part. So your programing makes that what's familiar you're drawn to. And so you end up with somebody who you guys, you know, you might trigger them and then their reaction triggers you and then you just get in the trigger cycle together. And a lot of that coming from. So I know for me that I talk very openly about my struggles with anxiety and depression and PTSD and all of those things. And I know for me that comes up in my relationships like if I'm in a depressive episode, like I'm isolated, I'm shut down, like I'm not able to show up in the way that I know that they need or in the way that I'm creating all this content like that I know that any partner would need. And that's really hard. Like to know, you know, like I do have that awareness but that your mental health can really prevent you from being what you want to be. And so I think that that's not talked about or normalize nearly enough that it's not when a relationship struggles, it's not just because one person's being an asshole or one person's a victim or something like that. A lot of times it is rooted in mental health.

 

Sid Jackson:
Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. A lot of those childhood triggers start to resurface because, again, you were you weren't able to identify first the language followed by what your triggers were and even though I realized, okay, I don't like this because it makes me feel this, I've quickly learned that this was triggers that I just never addressed. I never it into fixing or addressing. Therefore, it shows up this way. And that's where the toxicity of the toxic masculinity started to present itself. And guess who was the face of it? Yeah, yeah.

 

Dr. Liz:
Let's talk about that. Let's talk about these gender differences in terms of especially how do you define that toxic masculinity? What would be your definition of that?

 

Sid Jackson:
Oh, so again, toxic masculinity in my personal opinion, again, it it's I don't want to call it vague. I don't think it's a one size fits all. And I think it transforms an issue differently. Are certain principles, morals or a lack of integrity? But for instance, one of the things I used to believe I'm a man. I'm the one with the penis. You do this, I do this. I make the money, you cook, you play, I take out the trash, I do this. You deal with the kids. And that's toxic because my partner, that's not how she was raised. She was actually raised with both parents. I was raised with a single strong black independent mother who ended up raising a man. She was raised with a strong, black, supportive mother who's a wife and a father who's a provider protector, who professed and was always there. So what started to show was she was raised a certain way to be a mother, to be a a wife, to be a queen, to lead from behind. I was raised to say, listen to me. So what is going to be my way or no way? And it it was ugly. We got into arguments why my food and cook, why I got to do this, Why do laundry isn't done, make the bed, what's the market screaming? And then as I continued to evolve, I started to realize. Sid You've been single all your life. You live by yourself since 16, even though we built society called all doing domestic work. This is normal. You cook, you clean, you iron, you pick up, you cut the grass, you do all of that without a partner. But now you've got someone who's trying to. So when to you, this is your opportunity, humanity to lead. And when it comes to this whole back to the whole toxic masculinity, I want it to deface it because again, relationships are not a one size fits all. And I think it's I know it's not a cookie cutter. We I needed to identify what worked for me or what worked for us. I don't mind sharing chores. I don't mind taking the kids to play sports or school or afterschool activities. I don't mind cooking, cleaning and doing laundry. However, I felt at that time because I had a woman I do honor that know what's your job? And it showed up and through combativeness to aggression, to verbal abuse, to button up the head to a lack of intimacy, to poor communication. To me, not identifying when I'm setting a boundary or when I'm putting up a wall. I had to truly identify the difference between boundaries and walls and not also realizing all of these walls I'm putting up because I don't want this to happen. That same wall is stopping this young lady from loving me correctly.

 

Dr. Liz:
Right? Which is one of the most profound aspects of the walls and the boundaries getting so misused and misunderstood. And really that even the concept of the boundary and then people feeling so self-righteous in, well, I'm setting a boundary so I can do this, that or the other. But where did your awareness come in? Like what was this part of your therapy journey that you like recognize? Like, Oh shit, now I'm kind of being a dick. Like, I guess I got to check myself.

 

Sid Jackson:
Yeah.

 

Dr. Liz:
Maybe you can say I quite like that.

 

Sid Jackson:
She did it by so many words. And the thing is, going back to the whole toxic masculinity, I wasn't trying to hear what she had to say because she was a woman and again, it's not. It's not that I didn't respect women. You know, I have six, five sisters and a single mom and a ton of aunts, right. But I just thought I was right because I was a man. And my therapist said, Sid, you know what? I'm not getting through to you. So she taught me the technique about journaling, and that changed my perspective about my mental health. And now my approach to mental health is look it directly in the mirror. Face the ugly. Yeah, it might feel like hell, but why stop, keep going through. And it's not about the destination. The destination continues to evolve. It's the journey to get to where you need it to be. So when I started to journal, she taught me this technique of said no matter what you think, write it down every day. Every day, every day. And I don't want you to reread it. I want you to come back to what you wrote seven days from the day you wrote it.

 

Dr. Liz:
Oh, interesting.

 

Sid Jackson:
And very interesting technique. And what it did for me, I started to realize that Sunday when I started to document my experiences, I was pissed off. She did this, she did this. I can't believe it. Monday I'm still pissed off. I'm not touching her. I want to sleep in another room. Tuesday. I'm upset, but I'm to go take the kids to go play basketball and we go eat out Wednesday. You know what was a good day? I'll go hang out with my boys. Thursday, Friday, Saturday. I started to change that emotion I had this past Sunday. Now, when I went back the following Sunday to reread what I wrote, it was dark, it was ugly. But one thing it did for me, as you saw how the days changed, I wrote my own blueprint to what the emotion was and not necessarily the steps, but the roadmap to get me out of that emotion. Now that I'm able to be the narrator of my own story, no matter how ugly it was, I may not be able to tell you the truth. Layers or my partner or my mother or my brother, but I can't lie to myself now. When I was able to take that mirror and I realized, Oh shit, this is a no, this ain't what I want to represent. This sucks. This little girl, this little girl, my daughter, she's watching me. I'm teaching her what's acceptable to accept from what's acceptable from a man that bothered me. And then my therapist told me, See, would you allow your daughter to date you? And I said, Wow. Yeah. Because I said, Hell no, you know? And that's when the journey started.

 

Dr. Liz:
So when you could see later in the week, like when you saw okay, I started to feel better when I did this, when I took the kids to go to dinner, when I was hanging out with my friends or whatever. Are you saying that you were able to then say, kind of see what pulled you out of it so then you could start that sooner or you could put more of your focus on those things that felt safe, that felt light, that there were things you enjoyed.

 

Sid Jackson:
Yes. Yes, it was things I enjoyed that just didn't involve me. And my Hallwalls started because I started to realize that this journey is it met. You know, my journey is my journey. Part of this journey is to pick up and get assistance from things and people that you love. At that time I was just in my own way and I just wasn't ready to accept it, you know, I just wasn't providing proper communication. I lacked the emotional intimacy. The empathy and understanding just wasn't there. It was so much stress and a lack of conflict management or I didn't know how to de-escalate from myself at that time. And, you know, vitamin D, that sun getting outside of just breathing, learning to meditate, sometimes stretch, play basketball, go smoke a cigar, have some wine with your friends. That worked for me, but I had to stay busy, even though that was a band aid at that time, before I started the healing journey. It worked.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yeah. Yeah. Where would you say that? The programing for that toxic masculinity came from? So with a single mom, did it feel like she, like, kind of instilled that manly, like, manliness? You get what I mean by that, that dominance or was it role models that you had? Like where do you think that? Because it sounds like I mean, you were pretty set in your ways of what these gender roles should be. Where did that come from for you?

 

Sid Jackson:
How I was raised, I won't necessarily just put it on my mother, but my mother raised us to be strong. I watched my mother do it all herself. She raised me, my brother and my five sisters by herself. My mother was a strong, independent black woman who took no shit, so she taught us, Don't take nobody shit.

 

Dr. Liz:
Right.

 

Sid Jackson:
Right. So, yeah, like we don't we don't do tears. What's wrong? But to help man, get the hell out of here. I didn't raise you like that, though. And as a child, I was a little bit huskier, Right? And my mom was. But my mom told me, it's your fat ass outside and go run. That's the communication style we had. But what I know now, she was trying her best. This is what she knew. And then when I went outside, my influences were all negative. But this is the environment that I'm around, from the projects to being in the hood to seeing homicide suicides, drug bile, drug files everywhere to overdose. This is my norm. This it's regular. So if I don't see it, what the hell is all this? Then? I also had no one to talk to because, again, my role models with the people who I know now, I should have stayed away from they selling drugs. Their robin is stealing. They're doing all the things that I would not have worked for my child. So without unpacking that, as you grow up, that helps build your identity. I was a sum total of all of my experience. Good, bad or indifferent.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yeah. Yeah. Yep. And then it comes out in the way that it comes out and and not always the greatest way. And and as you're describing the that overwhelming depression, I mean that is really what happens when that amount of trauma when any amount of trauma compounds but when that amount of unprocessed trauma is just building building building. And I think what people really struggle with is when they get in a relationship and they don't get why it's not working, especially as you describe when you have the income and you have the home in the family. And why can't what's wrong with me? Why can't I get this to work? Why can't I figure this out? Which really just makes all of that anxiety and depression that much worse? And if you don't have the language and you don't have the role modeling and you don't have the template, you have no idea what to do with it. So, I mean, that's a huge win, obviously, seeking out therapy to start that process. How did your family or how does your family even present day receive your mental health journey and receive how kind of how you not kind of how you do advocate for it on such a platform?

 

Sid Jackson:
Are it was a little bit of a struggle a few years ago. It's funny, I'm about to share this with you. I remember when I went to the doctor, Dr. Google, right. And I started to tell my mother, you know, I Google this and this says depression and depression. It seems it feels like this. And I have in society because my anxious days and when you scream out makes me feel like it's my mom said, get the hell out of here. See, I didn't raise you to be like that. And she walked off and that hurt me to the core. The first person I grew to love rejected me as a man with how I feel. I'm being open, honest and transparent to this one person who I've I've learned to love. And with her rejection, I stopped speaking to my mother for some time, and then I started to spiral, bring it to today. We had to separate. But as they they've watched my journey. They watched my life matriculate from the decisions I make when no one's watching to the decisions I make where it doesn't affect anyone too. How I started to take better care of myself, how public I became about what I was going through and then when I started to receive an outpour from thousands, hundreds of thousands of strangers, they started to realize, Hold on. Then it started with my little sister who texted me, said, See, I feel the same way. And then there was conversations happening with my mother. Then there was more conversations happening with my brother. Happened is with my uncle and then my mother. My mother had a conversation with me. I said, You remember what she was telling me? I've been going through that. My whole life. She didn't. She didn't I won't say the resources, but she wasn't prepared to have the in-depth conversation because, again, hurt people. Hurt people. And I believe my mother has experienced some childhood trauma that she just may not be ready to embrace or heal from. But one of the things my therapist said said, your problem is you're looking for an apology from your mother, when in actuality you may not get it, but part of your healing journey is being okay with that. Accept people for who they are as opposed to who you want them to be. But I know. But this is my mother and I'm in my thirties and I'm still looking for my mother's a pat on the back of my mother to say, said you did the right job. But coming to today, they see all the lives that I'm impacting. They saw of the book that I wrote. They see me on the news, they see me on social media. They're laughing. But when I come back to New York, where I'm from, they see how people embrace me. They see the paraphernalia, and my conversation is different. All of our conversations is still fluid where we talk all types of crap, etc. But now our conversations are centered and love is centered and with intention. Why? Because again, part of me still is a little sensitive because of what happened in the past. But I finally accepted my mother for who she was. And again, that's my mother who tried her best. And even though she may not verbalize it, there's still some trauma within that heart that I think glimpses of trying to come out. So what I do now is I give a simple nudge, Hey, mom, would you think about this? And that opens up dialog that we weren't there to have three, four, maybe five years ago.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yeah, holding space for that and that you can recognize the hurt that was caused and that she was doing her best and she's also really living in her own unprocessed, unprocessed trauma. And even for her to say, like I've been living with that my whole life, there's a good chance she just that that's how life feels, right? Like not even realizing that that is not ideal or that it could be different. I think it's really powerful that even more than all of the thousands of lives that you reach on a daily basis, the intergenerational trauma that you are shifting in your own family, like that's huge. To be able to be that person to just shift the trajectory of your, you know, your last name like that, that that just looks different. I'm sure that feels well, I guess let me ask, how does that feel for you? It's really through a therapist questionnaire.

 

Sid Jackson:
Yeah, it feels amazing because I can, you know, if there are buzz buzzwords, but I can honestly say that it's a strong possibility that generational trauma can start with me.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yeah.

 

Sid Jackson:
I feel. I feel it's every man's dream to buy their mother a house. Right? But instead of a house, what if you can change how your family thinks? Mm. How we received the bullshit we went through then and the bullshit they went through. She learned it from somebody. But it stops with this man. Then it goes to my daughter, then her children, and then her children. And then our children. And I can honestly say at some point Grandpa did that.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yeah. Yeah. Which that is for me. What is so important with with the work that I do and I'm so blessed that, you know, with my clients or, or with my community on Instagram, all of those things, but that I was able to create a different template for my son is that's, that's all I care about really at the end of the day, in that way, that's the most powerful thing that I care about, is that he will now know how to love his partner in a way that I had no concept of. And he will know what love feels like. He will know how to be loved, which is the other half of the problem. It's not just how we show up shitty in relationships, but it's that we allow people to treat us shitty as well because of what we don't know. So tell me currently then. Are you dating? Are you in a relationship or are you? How is your mental health journey shifted that for you? Currently?

 

Sid Jackson:
I am, to be honest, it's still an everyday process and I'm still learning more about myself. I am currently dating and one of the things she has helped me identify is that I do have new triggers. You know, one of the things I love, one of my favorite quotes of Steve Harvey is every new level requires a new devil, and sometimes I can feel when it's attacking. However, I've now have identified ways to cope, not just to exist, but to cope and heal from it. One of those is simply operating in silence and then having a partner who truly understands what you're going through. Because in the beginning you were open and honest about your story, your testimony, and what it is that you experience. I met her after I started this journey and part of the social media presence. It brought on some real honest conversation between us and it was so eye opening and so relieving to have someone who understood but did more listening to the talking. And now all the questions are for clarity and learning how to operate in a space when I'm having an episode now. So it's not perfect. It's not perfect. You know, I still have my outbursts, you know, However, this, this, this, this, this amazing woman has to now approaches me with grace. She starts it curious and I can see what it's becoming to have me, but I'll just remove myself and then come back. Completely bipolar. But she still embraces me with open arms. I know I embrace open embraces with open arms. And then when I'm ready, she allows me to all flow and listen as opposed to saying, No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then with the proper time, she tells me how it affects her.

 

Dr. Liz:
Mm. Yeah. And it did she, has she done her own mental health journey then as well or. She's in her, her journey currently.

 

Sid Jackson:
Yes. One of my requirements to date me is you also have to be you must also work on your mental health. I don't want to hear. Oh, I'm fine. No, I'm fine. If you're going to individual therapy counseling and couples counseling, we haven't got there yet. But doing your individual work is a requirement to do so.

 

Dr. Liz:
What would you tell people? So that's a that's a good one to add to this list. What would you tell people who are trying to whether it's that they're trying to break intergenerational trauma, whether they're they've had mental health struggles and they're trying to show up different in their relationship? What are some things that you would suggest that they start doing in addition to therapy kind of being the foundation for that? But to be able to show up differently for their partner or if they're dating, to attract somebody different.

 

Sid Jackson:
Oh, start a curious give, not just your good, not your partner, but also give yourself grace. And also remember that every relationship is unique and the impact of mental health can vary widely based off the relationship and what each of you have gone through individually. But I think the key to for the fostering this is open dialog, transparent communication, having empathy and having a willingness to support one another, all your goals, your ups and downs. But when you find the right mate, make sure that it's not just someone who's good for your image, someone who's good for your spirit, right? Someone who just isn't using terms like anxiety, depression, all that stuff as buzzwords, but someone who may actually champion some of this stuff and then has the grace to deal with someone who has these everyday struggles. None of us are perfect, but what makes us better is the individuals whose again looking in the mirror, attacking that beast and facing the ugly, but also doing the work. I can respect someone who don't have it together, but I can see them doing the work. What I can't get with is someone who think, No, nothing's wrong with me. I ain't got no trauma, I don't have any of that. Okay, let's see how it shows up.

 

Dr. Liz:
Right? Right. I see that all of the time that you are not going to find there is. We all have something. You know, we all have red flags. We all have toxic behaviors. We all have something. But what you should look for is not the unicorn, but rather the person with the self-awareness, the person who is willing to look in the mirror. Because there's a lot of people who won't even let alone say something is wrong. They're not even going to look. And so that being the first piece. But then I love how you add that second piece, because it's so important that all the self-awareness in the world isn't going to get you anywhere if you're not doing something about it. So what are those efforts you're putting in towards change? What are you what is the hard work that you're doing to show up differently? And I believe that that's the key difference because every relationship is going to have conflict. It's going to have its ups and downs. It's going to. But if you both are committed to putting in efforts towards change, that's the game changer.

 

Sid Jackson:
Absolutely. Absolutely. I couldn't agree more.

 

Dr. Liz:
All right, Sid. Well, where can people find you on your platforms and online and all those things.

 

Sid Jackson:
You guys can find me on all social media handles. Let's start with Instagram, Facebook, my website, even in on three, it's now at 3heth doubling Sid Jackson at Instagram on all social media platforms. Or again, you can go directly to my website at c t h doubly safe place dot com. You can also try Sid Jackson dot com where you can stay up to date on everything happening. Mental health burger related humor or any and everything that I got going on. I travel the country creating safe places for people who look and feel like me, and I like to consider myself a consumer I like to connect the dots connecting people to people and of resources. So please allow me to be a resource for you. And again, I check all my DMS and all of my emails. Yes, I do it. So again, guys, you can find me everywhere.

 

Dr. Liz:
Well, thank you again. Said, I really appreciate it. I appreciate your vulnerability today and just your honest message, which is what we need to hear. So thank you so much.

 

Sid Jackson:
Thank you so much for having me, ladies. This was amazing. And I love your work. I just want to give you some more kudos.

 

Dr. Liz:
Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. And you all for hanging out. Unrelatable relationships unfiltered. Make sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel, Sign up for my newsletter and find me on Instagram at Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick.