Relatable podcast 

Dr. Liz:
Life changes when you get married, life changes when you sign that contract. So tell me about that. How have things been different?

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
Yes, you know that soon because like she saying is you're dating and you're mad at each other. You could just, like, leave the house. You're married. I know she's leaving the house. Where are you going? Right. Hold on, hold on. We've got to sort this out. And it's like, now you got to think of that balance. Okay, we got to talk this out. We got to kind of be on the same plane, too, because we think we're right.

 

Dr. Liz:
So you've got that magical escape route.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
Yeah.

 

Dr. Liz:
It is a permanent. Right. This is relatable relationships, unfiltered. Hey, welcome to Relatable Relationships Unfiltered. Today, I'm hanging out with power couple and newlyweds Will and Alexis Powell. We chat about everything from love languages to baby mama, drama to their wild sex life. So congratulations on your newlywed status. When we originally met and hung out. was that over the summer you guys were planning wedding and everything like that, but now you're officially married?

 

Will & Alexis Powell:

Yeah, it happened. It was beautiful. It was. It was. Yeah, We went abroad. Wedding abroad. Sounds so much better than we looked. So you guys are doing it? Yeah, we have the. The actual wedding in Venice, Italy. And then we had the honeymoon in Santorini, Greece. So you can see it was beautiful. Definitely beautiful. So if anybody says, don't say elope, say weddings abroad.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yes. A destination wedding. Yeah, that is fun. So how has life changed? We were talking about before we started recording that you guys were already living together. So some similarities in that way. But life changes when you get married, life changes when you signed that contract. So tell me about that. How have things been different? You ten, you go first. I know what I.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
well, put it this way. When you're dating, it's just like, okay, we're dating and it seems fine, but it's like when you married, it's seem like things get more strict, evolving. maybe it's more like you kind of tighter. A little bit. It's hard for, like, I was tired. All right? I got a horrible life, you know, You got with the other part.

 

Dr. Liz:
I guess it strained a little bit. A little bit of what you mean by strict. I think I understand. I know for me, I felt and this is not a bad thing. I felt stuck afterwards because beforehand it's like you guys, how is this going? Like you weren't great, but it was like as a result of feeling stuck, you handle conflict differently because beforehand it's like, I don't have to deal with you. You can leave. And then I was like, okay, you are getting on my nerves. However, I suck. We need to talk calmly. So did you guys like really? I mean, like psychologically, did you sense that shift of, wow, what are your faces? Really? Yeah, the podcast listeners, their face tells it all.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
No, I mean, yes. You feel that soon because like she did say, is it you're dating and you're mad at each other. You could just, like, leave the house. You're married now. I know she's leaving the house. Where are you going? Right. Hold on, hold on. We got to sort this out. And it's like, now you got to think of that balance. Okay? We got to talk this out. We got to kind of be on the same playing field because. Yes. Things in. Right. So, yeah.

 

Dr. Liz:
You've got that magical escape route.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
Yeah.

 

Dr. Liz:
It is permanent. Yeah. So, Alexis, you talk about finding love later in life and were you married? Where is this? Both you guys, his first marriage or second marriage or. It was. Well, I was married before and I was not. I have my son Noah, who's now 16, and he has every girl who's now seven. So mine was I was in a relationship. It didn't work. And then I was single for a very long time in and out of relationships. And he was married and he had Avril. And then we met later on, so. Okay. Yeah, so were we, man. He was going through a separation and I was single and we had our kids and then we got engaged and that's where it started. So he was. I wasn't. How did you guys meet again? I'm sure I've asked you this, but. it's embarrassing. Okay.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
I want to know whether or not instantly. Because it's always funny or awesome.

 

Dr. Liz:
No. Okay. So what happened is that I had my own fitness studio in Hampton, Virginia, and I had all group sex and he had his own gym in Virginia Beach, which is mostly personal training. And so he kind of just hit me up in my dreams and was like, Hey, I see you have your studio. I'm looking for a fitness instructor. Do you teach this, this format or that format? And I was like, I do, but I actually own my own studio and I'm looking for a personal trainer. Do you do training? He was like, Yeah, I don't think so. You own your own sport. He was like, Yeah, you own your own space. Like, Yeah. I said, horrible. And then we decided to go out to. He asked if we could go out to lunch to talk business and I had not looked at him yet. I do see him again. Podcast listeners at least tune in to YouTube to see this man because you don't not see him. But I didn't look, I was the I was 100% business. And I think you had I think you had.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
yeah I, I start the page and I watch the dance and they are like, wow. So I don't, I don't, I don't understand it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's not just slipping in your DMS because he doesn't know you're pretty. Give me a break about it. So when he finally I knew something was weird because we were supposed to go out, I think it was like on a Thursday or Friday. And then he messaged me, Can we go one earlier day? And I'm like, okay. And then the day before that he was like, So we're going here. He go ahead and tell me what you want to eat. I'm like, We're going to eat tomorrow. You're already thinking about what's on the menu. And and so I said, okay. And I still hadn't looked at him. I was busy. I spoke, and then we just went. It was like a little tiny Asian Thai spot and the bathroom. Yeah. And I went in there and I'm sitting down and I'm waiting to figure out this meeting and it's going to be personal training. And then this job, like, walked in, threw me off completely. I the Greek god in all his glory, walks in and you're like, I shit. I was not prepared to die. I was. I was. And it was like, do you want me to use a napkin? Know? I immediately became so like, hi. And, and it was great. And then we were we were talking and every conversation was smooth. And then I remember he was talking and it was like, Wow, wah wah, wah, wah. I was not paying attention. I was just looking at everything. And then I remember at one point I was like, You have really big hands.

 

Dr. Liz:
my gosh.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
The me, this is the meet was great. The whole thing was we got off track. We got off track. That's like that.

 

Dr. Liz:
Sounds like you heard.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
All right, man, we're meeting right now. It was like a first date or something, you know? And then.

 

Dr. Liz:
Thomas, what was that? Not your point?

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
Well, no, I actually was coming for business. I Aristide's complete honesty and it can sound like. But yeah, it was complete. yeah. Well, I literally thought that this is this is a business meeting but it turns out that's.

 

Dr. Liz:
Business to pleasure real quick. Yeah. And, and then, and then the rest And then we have literally spoken to each other every day since. And how long have you guys been together? Five years. my goodness. That's a long time. Yeah. So what was it like for you guys when you started blending families? So with you each having a child, different gender, different ages, that brings its own complexities. What was that like for you guys? Goodness. Well, I mean, first of all, that was just I'll let you go. I learned Well.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
I mean, but it is I mean, my child is pretty young. She's seven now, was 16. And then it's trying to figure out the balance with that and then getting to know her son and knowing he was younger. So there's a whole bunch of transitions, man. So the blended family thing took some work off that sums everything up. It took a lot of work, but we made it happen. But it was a lot of hurdles in between.

 

Dr. Liz:
What do you think the biggest hurdles were?

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
man, I can't start from anywhere, but it is, like I said, getting it, says a nurse on her son. Liking me, binding like how do post to kid? You know, I don't you know, I mean it discipline him or, you know, hey, what do you like, buddy? You know, like all these different things and then same thing going for my daughter, like, is she going to like my kid or just want a daughter? Like, yeah, it was just like, all this is a little bit more aggressive, you know? But they came with growth over time, you know, just kind of learning on the go. Yeah, I think discipline was a big one. Yeah. Different different discipline styles. And, and things like that and different boundaries and closeness and things like that and just getting and getting adjusted and thing is that my son lives with us and we have our daughter every other weekend. So it's two different dynamics. And you know, being that my son is older, you know, his dad, we had to actually, you know, cool with his dad and all their family. And we are really cool, thank goodness, because, you know, since my son was already like, what, 12, 12 or when we met, you know, we had already been apart for so long, there's no envy, no animosity. So we really co-parent very, very well. And he's cool with Will. I'm cool with his new wife, everything's cool. And then you just play the kids and things like that. And then on the other end, as far as like baby mama, drama X white stuff, you know, that is hell. I'm just You said don't cut some sugar. I do not want to sugarcoating. and so it's just a balance of when you have somebody who's young and then you have the love that you show her in your household versus somebody saying, I can't stand that bitch.

Dr. Liz:
You know, it's like that, that kind of thing where you're like, okay, let's just keep it positive, people. Yeah, yeah. And how do you how do you navigate that then? That is honestly one of my fears when I think about like dating or getting back in a relationship, I don't want to deal with no crazy bitches. Like I don't I don't got time for it. And that, you know, there are a lot of situations where like people do get along, like you're saying you're cool with your ex. I'm cool with my ex, like, and I know plenty of people who are, but it's so hard when you're not like, What do you do with that? I'll say I'm going to have to deal with, Well, you have to do it sometimes, but it's like somebody in five years I have never she will not talk to me and that's fine. And so what I realized was this I had to take it in mentally, process it and digest it a little bit differently. And the way I process it was I've been kind. So whenever little comes over and says, My mommy doesn't like you, I'm like, Will you tell her I think she's beautiful. That's what you tell her. So I just take the opportunity to be an example, to be positive, and then it's you just want to let it eat me up inside. I actually took it as a moment of power. I have the power If somebody be quiet, if I just enter the room and I haven't done anything, I have the power to smile while they're scowling. I'm like, I'm happy and you're not. And it's like, I just had to kind of flip it in my brain to let them own the misery and me just stay in my little happy little box. And just remember, if your presence can make somebody turn their head the other way, then you're a pretty powerful person. And I just have to get down to like that. I'm like, I did not. Do you. Was it tempting for you to go for your crazy bitch side to come out? Because my comes out pretty easily. Yeah, it was.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
You ask me plenty of time. I was like, how satisfied that you should be because I don't like her, but I mean some. She said I was. That was key. She said I got to put some bigger pants on because if I take the higher road, yes, it's harder. Maybe it would be better, you know, over time. But she she she noted down.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yeah. What's it like for you. Well having that dynamic that I mean puts you in probably the worst position of all.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
Is I mean you think about all the person they are, you know you do doing her as then and all that back and forth. And then you basically got to a woman and like I said, I'm in the middle and I'm just like, you know what? Yeah, yeah, I've got to figure this out. You know, you just get you get stuck on your words and you just sort of figure it out on the go and the whole thing. You know, I hope most men, the ones that are listening, I idea you just sort of the easiest way is possible so this thing you know so on through but.

 

Dr. Liz:
Was it ever tempting to throw in the towel for you. like was it ever like this is just too much.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
At some point, But I got it in me. She made it easy on me because she always is about solutions, solutions, solutions. So that made it easy for me. But it wasn't no solutions or anything. It's kind of, you know, kind of figure this thing out. Yeah, I probably was due to talent, but. I mean, but it's bouncing out a little bit now, so, you know, I can't knock how she how she handled every.

 

Dr. Liz:
Question just I mean if I was we had conversation and I just kept very real and I said you just have to prioritize who you're trying to please. Meaning that when you're trying to avoid conflict, trying to avoid conflict with the baby mama, if it causes conflict in the household, it's not worth it. So therefore, I see trying. I got to keep everybody happy. Actually. No, you don't keep the household happy, number one. And then whatever you can do, you know, she is the mother. So if you have to do something to kind of, you know, put her at ease about something or the way that you're disciplining or if you want to have a baby sitter or whatever it may be. You know, I, I understand respecting, you know, and make mother feel comfortable. But there's a certain between you bent to make other people happy in general, right? Your friends, family, you bend to make them happy. You don't bend over and break, though. Now there's a line. Now there's only a certain amount. So there is no I have to keep both women happy. If No, I have to please my wife. You come second, but I'll do what I can when I can't. Is this what you mean about getting stripped? Well, is this is this a good example that. Holy shit. Just like. No. Yeah, but it's clearly working like you and Alexis. You are. It's just. I mean, I know you personally. You are such a kind hearted, like. And like. Well said, you are so solution focused. So that, I would imagine, would make it a lot easier versus if you were petty that I mean, it would be impossible, right, not to be petty.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
Yes, you want to be petty, but.

 

Dr. Liz:
It's hard not to be petty. It's really, really hard. But I got to say that it is hard. So like when that whole thing when Michelle Obama was like, when they go low, you go, ha, No, that is difficult. That is hard. Yeah, it is. But I mean, it could still be done, but it is not without. Yeah. Takes a lot of effort. How do your kids get along and how did you manage like meshing them. Do they. I mean they're so far in age that they don't spend too much.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
They are. They talk smack. My daughter loves picking on Noah, but overall, like, you know, she's the young one and she loves waking them up in the morning and, you know, doing certain stuff. But I got to go tell her about something, you know, So they're cool so long as they get along or who I mean. I mean, we lucked out because they happen to look alike. So. Yeah, I know they do. When you guys post stuff of your family. my gosh. Like my brother and sister. So that's. Yeah, cool bathroom.

 

Dr. Liz:
So, so cute. Very, very, very well we're very fortunate that they get along and and she she's she's a cute little bossy sassy thing and I love her And so she loves me bossy So she loves to tell know what to do So it was like in the morning from like, can you go wait, no. Okay. Like I don't go makes me the way. So it's definitely like that with the with the kids. Something you have. You have son. Yes. Yeah, I have a 15 year old but he has it. I dated somebody for a short time who had kids, so he like there was somewhat of a blending. It wasn't like serious enough though, like that he had to actually get used to it, but he wasn't. I mean, he's the only child he want. Well, so our both yours until you combine so he wants siblings like he he likes the big family feel. So I think he's hoping that myself or his father finds somebody with kids for sure. But I have some pretty strict rules on a lot of that's like age range. Like you're saying baby mama stuff like the stars would have to align for that to be a thing. Sometimes they don't because sometimes you just happen to just trip and fall in love and the next thing you know, you have a little child and a crazy ex and you're just like, Well, I love you, so let's go for or you don't. And you just stay guarded and don't go on dates. And there's that option too. Not a good choice, listeners. That's not at all what I'm suggesting. However, that is kind of how I have not fallen into that. I, I do. I mean, that's my end goal. But all of those things, that's a lot to manage. What do you would you say, like conflict wise? So and would you say that being in a relationship in later in life, like starting a serious one in that way, that there's a different type of conflict that came with then your earlier relationships? Yeah. And how does that both you know you he was in a long relationship so it's a little different because while he was in one long not so pleasant relationship I was in short ones when as soon as you did me wrong, I'm out. Okay. So I guess so it was like, long. And I don't know how you can describe it, how you describe it, but. yes. So what happened is that I think dating later on that the differences are vast because I think for me, I had my own house, I had my own career. I had already been raising my son on my own. I had my shit together and I didn't I and I know a lot of people hate this and they say, I don't need you. I want you. But I love saying that I don't need you. I want you because I'm not one of those people where I need you to pay my bills. I need you to do this. I want you to know you're here because I want you, not because I need you. But unfortunately, a lot of men, including this one, likes to feel needed, and. And they want to hear that sentence. If I need you. And I'm like, I don't need you want to, and I love you. And so I think that the conflict that comes with that is when you have somebody who already has her way of doing things, like when you're growing up together, like I have a friend where they got married right out of high school and they did everything together. They learned together. They got to an account. They're so used to everything being blended. There's really not her and him. It's them. And and so it's just a little different, I think, later on, because then you have somebody who already has all their shit together and see that's what I can relate to as well. And I talk about that a lot that like I don't want to live with anyone ever again because of that, because I have my own very set way, like my morning routine, my night routine, like all of those things that would be so hard to imagine. I mean, I got married right out of high school, so I can relate to your friend that. And we were married for 18 years and we we did grow up together. And so in that dynamic, that was easy. I mean, even still, when he comes over, like, we operate as though I mean, we've been doing it forever and that's easy. But when you start interacting with someone new who you haven't known forever, there's a lot of like quirks and nuances. And how is that for you?

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
Will that's tough, man. I can say for one is, you know, when you starting to come together and you go, you've got different things you're used to doing. I know one I can say that just recently happened, I am a fan of motorcycles. She hates it. But I told her all the stories I hear. I love to ride a motorcycle. That's my get. That's my God, therapy, all that good stuff. But once I got on the bike and got back into my routine, man, man, this is hell. Like, you going on the bike again, okay. I see what's happened, I guess. I mean, make plans. What? What? What am I not told you? Disappear. But it's that sort of thing, you know, and just, you know, different things that you do like that are your daily. Daily. That's.

 

Dr. Liz:
How do you find that you end up giving in more or do you hold your ground more.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
Actually move more ground on that one? Because that's that's something that I like to do. We all have something that we like to do and we kind of going to going to fight for that, that one or two things that we love.

 

Dr. Liz:
Does it create conflict? Like do you like is it like a fight every time.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
It did at first? Well, I think it did at first, because it's cute how, you know, the power of omission when somebody doesn't tell you everything. we're about to see a lie right here. Like it was not. my gosh. I put my foot down to get a bike and that she didn't want me to have a bike. The sentence was, I want you to have a bike. I don't think you should get it right now because your car's about to break down. So I think that you should get the car fixed before you get the bike. That's just my $0.02. So it wasn't about the bike to you. It was about needing to get the car. Yes. And then. And then what happened is he admitted this because the conflict is he he's been telling me he didn't have a bike when I met him, but I knew that he loved bikes and I want him to be happy. Okay. I want him to be happy. And so he'll sit around and watch tik-tok YouTube and reels. And all I hear is from vroom, vroom, vroom, you know, all on the screen. And if a motorcycle goes out his head through the window and look, I'm like, This dude really loves motorcycles. I really think he could have an orgasm listening to the sound of motorcycles. That is how much he loves them. And so what happened is that the conflict came when he finally gets his bike. He finally gets his bike, and the first thing he does is get a customized because he said, I can't ride any bike has to be customized. And what is that mean? Like when you get a whole piece of some gold on it, glitter or whatever, they go after his name on it, whatever it is, right? He goes to pick it up. Finally he goes to pick up the bike and then on his way home, who flips over the god damn bikes, bust up their whole side, their hands and everything. And I went into scary mode. I'm like, You could have died. And so it was. So now when he rides his bike, it's not that I don't like him riding, it's just that I'm scared to death.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yeah. I mean, which I feel is kind of valid, don't you think? Yeah. The stories differed. You see.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
No one wants to go. It was a freak. Small accident. Like I've been riding almost 40 years and a lady who's on her bike, they. It is jacked. You know, this lady is literally on her phone. We're both at an intersection, but I know I was there first. I'm going to go so literally, she probably wasn't paying me, but I'm looking for like her head now. So clearly she's texting or in her lap. Well, it's my turn to turn once everything is cleared and she looks up, seems clear on her lap, and then she looks up and she just takes off. All you're about to hit me. I'm like, she's going to either hit my right leg. I don't know how I'm going to get out of this. And I, like, freaked out. I don't know what I did in that particular moment, but all I know is when I hit this one ready to hit the break, I end up let the bike just watch me. So I guess I locked the brakes and it threw me over the bike with the with the bike I have like frame slider and stuff like that. So minor, minor, minor, minor. Some minor damage.

 

Dr. Liz:
So did you get scuffed up on the bike. Why Hillary.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
Did it. I re disobeying an order customization because it was a lot of work off and all that stuff but. It's not the bike It's not a bike. But I, I it's, it's some power in me, like my hands and bones and it's kind of bruised for the last. I'm a little lightly bruised now, but I'm gradually almost 100.

 

Dr. Liz:
We did this happened recently.

Will & Alexis Powell:
Yes. Like a month ago.

 

Dr. Liz:
Like my gosh what Do you remember my response? What was your life insurance? I think I'd.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
Go get a whole coverage on you. You mean I had motor agent and we going to sit down when I call him, I'll let you know how it goes in the news.

 

Dr. Liz:
Okay. Well.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
So. Like I said, we're meeting with the life insurance policy. He's there. Know this is. okay. Okay. Well, I'm like, yes, win, win, win, lose. I don't really know how to look at that, but it's fun. I write extra, extra, extra costs. Now, I know you can't prevent anything, but it's been great ride ever since then. So.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yeah, but that I mean that would be scary though for all because I have the same feeling about bikes in general. Like they freak me out. So if yeah, if my partner went flying over the top of it, that would create some fear. I mean, we couldn't validate Alexis for that fear, right?

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
I mean, she's right. The only thing was I use it all right, Inner city. But I had to pick the bike. That's the only thing. If I was to stay interstate, then it would never happen. But I can't. It happened, you know.

 

Dr. Liz:
It is what it is for sure. So what is Alexis's quirk that similar to your bike that she she like has and won't compromise on? This is about to get good. I can see it on his.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
Face, so I don't even want to answer this wrong. So I don't know. It's it could be it's not a right or wrong, but I know she's big on quality time. She's big, big, big on quality time. And I need to make time for that no matter what and know how busy day is and just time energy. So if I don't have that segment where we're having that time and going out and you know, I'll have my head suit, all that's.

 

Dr. Liz:
Gonna work, it's not a yes, that's something that I do. but I mean, I mean, it sounds like something you're not willing to compromise on.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
Yes, she, she doesn't want to compromise the compromising quality of her. I think that is big. Now, if you. Know, I mean, we do not like call it. What is your love language? Well, my yeah. It's like I. This is accessories. I know yours is words of affirmation. you feel.

 

Dr. Liz:
Affirmed right now. She still expects.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
Physical to. We read the book and do the test. Physical tests. On it so affirmation first and yours was physical pledge second. And mine was acts of service first. and second. So what do you think he means when he will go into a little marriage counseling mode here? So what do you hear Will saying when he's talking about this quality time situation? I can just talk about what I complain about that I'm pretty I'm pretty certain because, you know, he he has, you know, clients and things like that.

And so it's like the schedule, like we used to have like Monday evening was our safe haven timeslot any other day, Monday, you know, monitoring the day, anything. And then next thing you know, he was like, yeah, I'm going to train on this day at seven. I said, all right. Okay. And I said, okay. But I said, okay. Or if we're watching a movie and he falls asleep, I'm like, Now you did not turn on El Chapo and make me watch El Chapo so that you could fall asleep because I got to watch an HDTV. Hey, is that what he said? Now I'm stuck watching El Chapo. Why does somebody get killed? Raped? Go by yourself? By yourself? No moral support, nothing. Nobody to talk to about it. Like, did you see that? Can you believe that? No, it's just by myself. And then I'm up at night thinking about. I can't believe how they write that. It's like. And you're still sleeping. And she has no one to process with. Yes. No, I know all about that. You know, I honestly don't think that I have a lot of courts thinking about what do you what do you complain to what he complains about? He wave up here. He I know. I got it. What is that? I talk too much about goals. That is what he hates in his arresting. Yes, he we like. We even have like this on real video or whatever. He was. Like I said, What's it like dating me? Would pressure. You always talk about what's your next move, what you want to do next, how you going to level up? How you going to be better? What's next? What's next? he hates it. And I'm like, I don't know why. If you ever watch that video, all I see is the day. And I'm like, with the latest, this work.

 

Dr. Liz:
Okay, well, I can kind of relate to that. So that's probably what the people in my life would say as well. Are you not both goal oriented because like, you all kind of look like it?

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
Yes, I just busy my schedule lot more. And that's why, you know, I kind of kept the Mondays and Fridays and kind of cram, you know, a lot. So I like that free time. But now that just like the busy season for with a lot of clients and athletes and stuff like that, I couldn't hold those days back no more. So now it's like I'm working, you know, spaced out. So my days seem very, very, very, very long in. It's just I don't really the structure is just kind of changed big time.

 

Dr. Liz:
So did you guys replace for quality time somewhere else? You know? okay. Okay.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
yeah. At the moment, no, but yeah, at the moment, no, that would be really hard. That would like because that's not my love language too. So like that would be that's what I get most bent out of shape about if I'm dating somebody, if they don't have time, if they don't make time a whole, that that's where my crazy bitch comes out. Like, I definitely am not good at regulating those feelings. So it's no, it, it has not. So that's why I don't really think that because I successfully I do do without it. And so but I do busy myself up with work or going to the gym with my son or talking to my mom or whatever it is. I think my, my, you know, so I don't really I don't think I have like I can tell you the one thing that he doesn't want me to do that I am going to do and this is this is the equivalent of his motorcycle. I have it, but I'm going to do it. Even though he's going to fight me, I'm going back to my dance lessons and he doesn't want me to go and I'm going. So he got his little motorcycle crotch rocket and I'm going to go back to my little bitch, back to lessons. And he has fought me tooth and nail on it, but he put his foot down on the bike and I'm going to watch out to my ass off. Yeah. Do you teach them in lessons or, you know. Student okay. Let's to do amateur ballroom. And so anything that has to do with chocolate all about a samba, all that. is it because it's like sexy dance that you don't like it Will 910 Okay, so that's the first. Man you hit it on the brain is to sex. Who like you going to cities That is for you about private lessons. You get into these lessons are in the mood. I love this. You know I love this kind of physical touch and stuff. You know, you movie dancing is really sexual. I mean, trust me. I know that part. What is human? We're human. Sure. I mean, I could see that I could go. And if I. Were you guys from premature. Yes, I'm going to be focused, But you see beautiful people all the time. It's kind of human nature. Like stuff happens. Like, I'm not saying that happens, but, you know, we have is in general, like, you know, just the chemical throughout the body that, you know, all that release, whatever that does. Yes. Yeah, exactly. I mean, all that stuff.

 

Dr. Liz:
Is all the dopamine, the serotonin.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
yeah. So is this I don't know. I'm thinking outside of life. I guess maybe you're.

 

Dr. Liz:
Worried she's getting real horny with her dance partner and got you. Give me my quality. Get. Why don't you guys do the lessons together? Because his schedule.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
About. Look, another one on the budget. So I told her, I said, look, I can restructure this Monday now because I got control of my skills. If I have to push by and I can do that, I just, you know, had it to where it fits me. But I can move that Monday to get a we're going to do every Monday will be less. I'm going to be in that class with you and we're going to be learning this but shot you know doing it and you know get our get our sexual so you your. Sexual that's all you had to do. That's all you had to tell them was your and you got to. So are you guys going to do it together or. No in the open class, I believe, on Monday. So we're going to we're going to give that a go. And so so the guy I'm going to date, I'm going to start rearranging some stuff and it is all.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yeah, sounds like he's not letting it happen otherwise.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
Yeah. I love you.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yeah, I that fine with you, Alexis. Like, do you, do you like him as your. I don't know. I don't mind him as my dance partner. I think it's I think it's fun. It's just but it that's just Monday. And so being that and as you know, high stress high stress jobs are high demanding jobs. You want something as a release and something you can do. And it's just kind of like going to the gym is one thing, going to the dance lessons, willing to kind of like de-stress because you definitely with the amount of level of, you know, pressure that we have with what we do in different industries and we tried to drink that away, you're just going to end up an alcoholic. So there you have to find another way. And so if you do dance lessons on Monday and I go to the gym, I will have to find something at some point. This is just my own, like riding his bike is his. All right now, gym is really hard to find something that's my own. Other than that, I need to a puzzle every now and then. Yeah, well, as work kind of your own. Like, is that still work? I would try after work, but work is my own. I love. I love what I do a little job with. You guys had said at the beginning that like since getting married, you have you have to communicate, You're stuck, you have nowhere to go. What are some that you're like? Go to communication skills that you have found to be most effective and do you guys like seek out this information or how how have you guys learned to kind of like grow together?

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
We're that's a great question. A lot of ways to do this process and then we're like I said, we're still newlyweds and I like this stuff, but know we've been together five years and then over the years learning each other more and more and more, which we will continue to do our own. She's gotten good with having to sit down like every night. She has a notebook and she's been on my time management right her. So now she wants me to do it. I was like, I don't want to do it, but I'll talk it through with you. So I don't want to write them down, which they know. The hope was I will stay on task and go to in whatever gaps between that and kind of talk it through. So we kind of have that day to day and we know where our gaps are. So we get it in like a lunch date or the case may be. So it's just having those talks. I mean, we do have those talks, I think, pretty frequently, right? We used to not have those thoughts as much. But I think that kind of hopes, you know, the talking part of this, I guess this thing, the communication.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yeah. What shifted that? Like what do you feel like disconnect or was like more conflict was happening.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
Because we had a lot of imbalances across the board. I mean, we have some imbalances, right, with scheduling and trying to get back or what do you think? I mean, because I mean, I could be wrong too, because I.

 

Dr. Liz:
Be.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
The other way. Yeah. I mean. I think that we just communicated differently, like even with our upbringings and things like that, like I'm very detailed and I'm very aware of what I'm saying, very aware what I'm doing. I mean what I say. I see what I mean. I know it down to the definition and I don't jack anything up. And I take ownership of everything that. I say, unlike some people speak for casual and they're like, Well, you know, I didn't mean it like that. No, I meant this. That's not what you see, you know? And so it's like, Hey, I'm trying to adjust to me being detailed and me trying to take a step back. And one of the hardest things is that not listening to exactly, exactly what his words are, but what is he trying to say? Asking myself that question before I get then out of shape, like, wait, okay, I know what he just said was rejected sentence, but what is he trying to say? And then when I take that one little layer, it gives me that moment to kind of process. And then I know with different things where when you want to resolve a conflict, you know, talking about things is cool. But I kind of put it on, I'm on a tier isn't even worth it. Like do something that's big or small. Like, okay, he washed his he brushed his beard and hair is on the floor. Is it big or small? Well, that's pretty small in the big scheme of things. It would take me one second to sweep it up. I'm not going to talk about that versus if somebody would cause they accidently leave the back door lock like, Hey, so you know that, by the way, that was me. You left the door locked. But, but, but in general, just trying to prioritize that in in communication and Jesus communication has been tough. It really, really has been. It's going to work at a very long process and try to communicate better. I forgot what else? What else? But we did do the whole premarital counseling thing. We did that. Or we did. Yeah, we did pretty much we did. Like two different set. We did two. We did one that was like through a regular like premarital counseling and we did one that was through our church. So we got. Some mentor and. It was definitely just an eye opener because we had to have open conversation. It's like, how often do you expect to have sex, which is a big one, or how do you like to have sex? And it was just like, you know, meeting each other in the middle. And then if somebody watches too much porn, are they getting too freaky with you?

 

Dr. Liz:
You know, me, it's like, you know, we really had to figure that out. Or how do we balance this? It's like, you know, What do you think your biggest takeaway was from the pre-marital? Like, I want to hear from each of you what each of your biggest takeaway was.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
She you start isn't the record that there was some stuff that was some tough days man.

 

Dr. Liz:
because of what you were digging into.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
Man. It was hard layers, the man. But the big one was like, you know, but the intimacy part of like, how often should you have sex and all this stuff? And it was like, what do you think is good? What do you think is good and is like, what? You know? And then you guys, women are looking at you like.

 

Dr. Liz:
What are the things wrong?

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
You know, we all have our opinions.

 

Dr. Liz:
But yeah. Well, what do you expect? You know, you got to work out all the time. You think, you know, I mean. You guys be doing those dance classes together. I mean, usually having frequent sex, but did you not have all that sorted out prior? Is that a source of conflict for you guys? Like, frequently, Like it was just like with a lot of I think first of all, for anybody, I don't know what the circumstance could be, but I remember I was like, I don't I don't know anybody who doesn't mind you pretty big, you know, every now and then, like, that's fine, you know. Do you think your outfit got away? Who cares? But it's just kind of like I said, Hey, hey, hey, It's. Sometimes I don't want to be a porn star. Is that okay? Can we. Can we balance out making love and fucking can we balance it a little easier? Fair? Like, because, like, I get it. It's fine to just, you know, do whatever.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
But every now and then, you know, you want the intimate part of it. Yeah. So we had to talk that through and then, you know, and then I remember how we got like because I have like the little questionnaire thing and then you look at it afterwards to see how you guys compare. And it was, mine was I was totally happy with two or three times a week and his I think was once or twice a day. And I said, you know, hold on, why are you making that face? You're shaming your man right now. What are my vagina? I could not handle that twice a day. Like, I need men want to say that whores have loose vaginas, but if you screw me twice a day, mine would get loose, too. I'm like, You're not trying to pound the penalty like that, but you got to give her time to snap back. It's like, So it's an overuse. You got usage over usage of the vagina. Like, you got to be gentle that like. Like you can't be doing it that much by that point. She's just going to be this going to be like on a hot dog in a hallway, you know, from an anatomy standpoint, I don't think that's how it works. But I feel you that there is truth in that, that there is discomfort and pain when it is overused. I will definitely validate that. Yeah. So it's. man, I'm sorry.

 

Dr. Liz:
Sounds like there was a difference in frequency, in preference. Did you guys what we all want to know, did you guys sort it out? Is Alexis being overused? Is the real cause?

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
We definitely sorted that out, man. It was just. I don't know. I just told her. I just think. I don't know. Maybe I'm just privately active, I guess.

 

Dr. Liz:
Well, but can't you engage in sexual acts without penetration? Yeah. Why are you so quiet?

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
Well, I guess I depend on what you may consider. I mean, can just get a list.

 

Dr. Liz:
We. Yeah, we could turn this into a whole different podcast, right? It's kind of better browse. At least better than if improved. And, you know, for me, being solution oriented, I'm just all about, you know, improvement in the in figuring out the other things. Like I'm fortunately very open with my parents. So I got to talk to my dad and I said, Yeah, what do you do when you partner with them and you are stressed out about this? You got this thing right. You don't feel like, what do you do? And my guess it will. Most men go last past 10 minutes, so feel free to do it. There's only 10 minutes of your time and you can. But if you're really in pain or if you really have an injury or something's really bothering you, then you can go ahead and do such a partner.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
No, but he was like for the most part. So like, I'll tell you a couple minutes. Can you do you agree? Is that the life advice you are you are providing to the world? Sometimes when your partner wants to be please and you're like, if I'm thinking about work or I'm thinking about this, or I have so many other things that are swirling around my brain, and then when you're stressed out about, I invested this in this outcome and this is tomorrow, and then you're literally in your laptop like I am focused, and then you have somebody come in and do they like, are you ready? I'm like, I wasn't even there mentally, but let me get you to look it up. Well, and I think that that's all like, those are the conversations of like the compromise and the because I think what happens often is that men typically, obviously saying this very, very stereotypically, but kind of get the bad rap, that they want sex so much and they can never be satisfied and all of those things. But I think it's like it's becomes kind of unfair. I'm not what you're saying. I validate what you're saying, but that there's nothing wrong with him wanting it more often and there's nothing wrong with you wanting it less often. And I think that's where those conversations take place of like, what makes sense, right? Yeah, right, right, right. I playfully said once, I'm just going to buy you a fleshlight. I was like, I'm so sick of these jobs. That's what I'm saying. There's other options. I might break that thing.

 

Dr. Liz:
You're right. But yeah, I've heard you really worked on on meeting each other in the middle. Literally, yes. Yeah. Okay. And on that note, where can our viewers learn more about your sex lives? I'm not really, but actually just about you guys.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
That's why, you. Know, I work with people find you advocate. so anybody could find me on Instagram at will underscore power underscore number three or Facebook is this will POW P.O.W. in in Roman number three. Yes I'm easy to find as well it's just I am King Alexis so I am kanji aliases. I am King Alexis on Instagram or Alexis Perkins on Facebook. We're pretty easy to find, I think. Yeah. Okay. And what about is there like business website or anything that either one of you out there on? Like everything? Yeah, Yeah. I try to keep more connected because it's too much stuff.

 

Dr. Liz:
I know because we here all business, you know what I mean.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
For so.

 

Dr. Liz:
I feel Yeah, for sure. Well thank you guys so much for coming to hang out with me and for putting all your business out there. For my listeners, I am. And as well as going to my retreat, it is your sex life. You fuck. Yeah, we'll see about that too. I don't think mine is nearly as interesting as your guys's. What? All right, you guys, Thank you.

 

Will & Alexis Powell:
Thanks. Thanks.

 

Dr. Liz:
Thanks so much, Will and Alexis, for hanging out today and will take it easy on Alexis. And thank you all for hanging out with me. Unrelated. Well, relationships unfiltered. Make sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel, Sign up for my newsletter and find me on Instagram at Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick.