Relatable podcast 

Dr. Liz:
Intimacy in its truest form, in its holistic form is is not sex. And sex is not intimacy. Intimacy is closeness. And it's a deep sense of connection with somebody else. And that can be romantic or otherwise. But that is truly what intimacy.

 

Mathew Blades:
It's I'm taking notes. I want everybody else to as well.

 

Dr. Liz:
This is relatable relationships, unfiltered. Hey, welcome to Relatable Relationships unfiltered. Today I'm hanging out with my friend Matthew Blaydes, host of the Learn from People Who Lived It podcast for a special series where we'll be focusing on intimacy all month long. This week, we're diving into the five types of intimacy.

 

Mathew Blades:
Well, I am so excited about this whole series that we're getting ready to kick off right here, right now. Hi there. It's Matthew Blaydes, and Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick is back with us for the entire month for intimacy month. How are you?

 

Dr. Liz:
I am good, Matthew. I am excited to be here. I am so excited about this topic.

 

Mathew Blades:
Yeah, I know, I know. And if y'all don't know you should follow this woman on Instagram. It's how I started getting to know her and like her posts. And I even think I write to you sometimes. I'm like, Girl, your posts are written for me. Sometimes it feels like and you do a lot of posting around intimacy. Why? Why do you choose? Intimacy is something you want to talk about.

 

Dr. Liz:
Because it's not talked about enough. I'm it. It's talked about in very societally rigid ways. It's talked about with all these expectations and all these shoulds, but it's not talked about from a vulnerable, real place. And I think that that's that is really where my heart comes from with all of my content, but especially talking a lot about normalizing different topics, but intimacy being one of them and in my work as a couples therapist, just noticing that couples do not talk about intimacy. And so if I can create a way for, Hey, did you see that post or like and I have clients tell me that all the time, like, thank you. Your post helped me start conversation.

 

Mathew Blades:
Yeah, that's a great that's a great. You're right. It's a perfect lead in. Some people just need a prompt and then they can get into it. It's funny that you mentioned what you just said because my wife and I've just been watching this show on Netflix about money. It's called How to Get Rich, and it's this dude. Have you watched.

 

Dr. Liz:
It? Yeah.

 

Mathew Blades:
I love it. Right? So, like Ramy, he goes around and he's helping all these couples. And intimacy is like money people. They know they should be talking about it, but they just don't know how to talk about it. And I happen to believe I have a sneaking suspicion that my own issues with intimacy are as a result of, number one, what I grew up watching. Number two, what I grew up experiencing. And then probably number three, how I was in relationship from the time it kind of mattered until now. But what's your feeling feeling on that? On on, you know, where where it comes from and how we do what we do.

 

Dr. Liz:
It certainly it comes from that early programing and it comes from those the culture of your home, in your upbringing, that environment, the messages that were sent to you around it, and then also the exposure. And you and I have talked about that before your exposure and I had experiences with exposure. And with that we develop messages around what it means. So is it okay? Is it not? Is there shame around it? Is there embarrassment around it? And so all of those early life experiences start to form these belief systems that then get perpetuated throughout the lifespan.

 

Mathew Blades:
Okay, well, let's dive into this. We're going to be here for the next month. We're going to be talking about intimacy as it relates to not just sex. Right. And we'll talk about that some more. But I want to be clear about one thing, which is week four we intend to give to you all. So if there are questions that you're struggling with surrounding intimacy and maybe you learn something along the way and it'll prompt you to want to ask us a question, you can reach out to her, you can reach out to me. You can find us both on Instagram. We're pretty easy to track down, and we would love to spend the entire fourth episode just answering some of those questions. So with week one, we have to start with what is intimacy? So I turn to you, the pro Define it for us as you see it.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yeah. So intimacy really is defined as a sense of closeness and deep connection, and that is important to understand because intimacy is not sex. And those words are used synonymously, and I believe it's because it kind of buffers the shame, the embarrassment around the word sex. It is it is a very shamed word. And so we add in these other terms that we say instead to buffer that embarrassment and intimacy is one of them. But the reality is that intimacy in its truest form, in its holistic form, is is not sex. And sex is not intimacy. Intimacy is closeness. And it's a deep sense of connection with somebody else. And that can be romantic or otherwise, But that is truly what intimacy it's.

 

Mathew Blades:
Sounds to me like you don't necessarily appreciate that connection between sex and intimacy.

 

Dr. Liz:
I think it's less about me not appreciating it because really good sex is intimate and that's so there is going to be that happening simultaneously. But what I don't appreciate is that intimacy is so much deeper than sex. And so when a partner talks about we're just not intimate anymore, that really keeps it surface level because you're likely not intimate anymore because of emotional intimacy, which then leads into physical intimacy. So I think the part that I'm not appreciating is it just really simplifies a much more complex term.

 

Mathew Blades:
Fair enough, because we have intimacy with our kids, we have intimate moments with our parents. We you know, we have intimate moments with a lot of different people in our lives. But we didn't really want to have sex with all those same people.

 

Dr. Liz:
Correct. And that's yeah, that's exactly it. We can have levels of intimacy with all of those relationships.

 

Mathew Blades:
So what do you enjoy talking about regarding intimacy? Are there things that and themes that you see along the way that boy, if if you like, have 5 minutes to talk to somebody or like, I'm going to make sure they know this?

 

Dr. Liz:
The main thing that I like to make sure that people know is, in my opinion, there's five types of intimacy. So if we're transitioning back to romantic relationships, there's five types of intimacy that really need to be attended to and fostered for the most healthy, sustainable, fulfilling relationship. And so and we'll break.

 

Mathew Blades:
I'm taking notes. I want everybody else to as well. Go ahead.

 

Dr. Liz:
Knowing well, we can break these down further, but so emotional, physical, intellectual, experiential. And did I say spiritual, emotional, physical, spiritual, experiential and intellectual, which I should remember. That is by far my favorite form of intimacy, is that. Yes, So we can start anywhere you want if we want to kind of like dive into those.

 

Mathew Blades:
Okay. Yeah. Let's start with emotional intimacy.

 

Dr. Liz:
Okay? So emotional intimacy is really about deep conversations. It's about vulnerability, empathy, trust, respect. It is that foundation and emotional intimacy is something that will take place in all should take place in all of your close relationships. But when we're looking at romantic relationships, this is the safety to talk about hard things, to talk about what I call your rob hearts, which maybe are like your unhealed traumas, or maybe it is your healed traumas, but it's these things that we're not just going to or should not just go meet someone new. And it's part of our first conversation. Okay. So emotional intimacy is really about going deeper under the surface.

 

Mathew Blades:
How can somebody because you know, what I'm thinking about is you're breaking these down and they sound like love languages to me, Right? Like and people need to figure out whether they're intimate love languages, too. It's like, well, am I somebody who likes emotional intimacy or my somebody who appreciates spiritual intimacy? And like you said, you appreciate intellectual intimacy. So next on your list was physical intimacy. Let's break that down.

 

Dr. Liz:
Sure. And I love just real quick that you say that because I am actually working on creating that very thing, because I agree that I intimacy that you should be able to understand that intimacy, language, So physical intimacy, this can fall into a couple of categories. So I probably get pushback on my types of intimacy that I don't put sexual intimacy into its own category. People might push back on that, but I really put that into physical. So physical includes nurturing, touch, caressing, massaging, hand-holding, hugs, kisses, but then also does include the sexual side of things. So that's foreplay, penetration, oral sex, all of those type of things also fall in to physical. So that's really across the spectrum from nurture to sexuality.

 

Mathew Blades:
All right. We're going to go back and talk about these deeper, but let's I want to get through the first five. So intellectual, your favorite, and help us understand that.

 

Dr. Liz:
Favorite intellectual is about creativity, curiosity. It is exploring maybe more controversial topics. It's playful debate. So for me, like my favorite type of dates will be to a museum, to an art gallery, something like that, where we are stimulating the brain and that is intellectual intimacy or into intellectual foreplay.

 

Mathew Blades:
Yeah, exploring initial.

 

Dr. Liz:
New adventures, novel experiences. This is going to new restaurants, going on vacations together, but this can also be your routines and your daily structure and just the things that you expect to do together. But experiential really being about your experiences together.

 

Mathew Blades:
Okay. And then maybe it speaks for itself, but I'll let you put some color behind spiritual intimacy.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yeah. Which can sometimes be confusing for people because they they're wondering how that becomes intimate or even when I talk about spiritual foreplay, but that is praying together, that's meditating together, that's worshiping your higher power, it's exploring your inner worlds, tantra, all of that really is that spiritual connection and intimacy.

 

Mathew Blades:
Interesting. And so it has less to do with your spiritual connection to each other and more about the things you're doing well.

 

Dr. Liz:
So it's spiritual connection with each other through these joint activities. So doing tantra or doing a breathing exercise together, being conjoined, making a really intense eye contact. So holding eye contact while you're getting your rhythm, breathing in the same place. Or for some people it's praying before bed together. All of that is again, when we talk about intimacy being about closeness and connection, a lot of people feel that through spiritual.

 

Mathew Blades:
Okay, I love this because I feel like in the first 10 minutes alone, you've probably given me at least more clarity around intimacy than I've ever had in my life before. You know, I probably represent so many folks who thought intimacy was, and I wasn't dumb enough to think it was just sex, but I thought it had a lot to do with that, you know, that part of life. And so what's interesting to me is, as I listen to you, break down these fives, I almost love this love language kind of analogy that we're making here because it does kind of help you figure out where you're going to land. Now, I want to ask you, as somebody who, you know, practices and sees people and coaches and guides and all the wonderful things that you do for people when you work with folks who are, like, depressed, anxious, have had trauma, have had some experience on the way, what sort of an impact will that kind of have on what level of intimacy they're allowed to give and receive? Yeah.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yeah. The the impact of that and I'll speak personally from someone who has struggled with anxiety and depression since my or as early back as I can remember, and really at peaking in middle school and being very present since then. It certainly does influence my ability to be intimate because if I'm in a really anxious state, it's hard to let my guard down it or it's hard to let someone close, or if I'm really depressed, maybe I'm in a state of fatigue. And so it can be hard to show up for my partner in the way that they need. And so I know a lot of my clients who I talk to, they struggle with the same things when mental health is something that is really active for them. Unprocessed trauma comes from a background of trauma, which is where my my mental health concerns come from. And so I'm aware of firsthand and how that impedes upon my intimacy. But I think that's what makes me that much more equipped to help people who have that same experi ence that just because we struggle with mental health, with anxiety, with depression, doesn't mean we can't find ways to show up, doesn't mean we can't find ways to allow our partner to show up. And that's some of my most intimate moments, is when I can allow a partner to see that side of me, which I. I don't do a great job at because it's really scary. It's really embarrassing as a mental health professional to say, Hey, I have these really dark thoughts that I don't like to talk about and to let someone be in on that with me. That creates really deep intimacy.

 

Mathew Blades:
Yeah, I would think so. I mean, there's just so much power in the fact that you you come forth and you're like, Listen, I get it. There's a certificate hanging, a doctorate hanging right behind me. But, you know, I still deal with these things, too. And I believe that probably allows people to be a lot more authentic with you. And again, I mean, what you're doing is creating an intimate moment with them where they're going to tell you something that's ultimately going to help propel them forward. Right. Because they're there to get help and get and seek for guidance. So how do you feel about this statement? People should try all five different types of intimacy and see which feels the best for them.

 

Dr. Liz:
I believe I feel good about that statement. I believe that people should do all five types of intimacy on a regular basis. So my belief is, well, while the love languages are very much about, you know, what is your primary and what is your secondary, and I believe the same when it comes to types of intimacy. But I also believe that we should all be actively participating in all five types on a regular basis to really foster the deepest level.

 

Mathew Blades:
Okay, but what if I what if I like? I don't know. I've never done spiritual intimacy before or like, I don't consider myself to be super smart. And so just calling it intellectual intimacy, you know, it spooks me a little bit. What would you say to people who might get tripped up on the language.

 

Dr. Liz:
And that that is a valid concern? I would say that we tend to do all of these different types of things. The spiritual one, I could see people maybe not as commonly, but I would say the other four we all tend to do, whether we realize that it's happening or not. And so if somebody were to say, you know, I'm just not really spiritual, that's okay, that you don't have to be spiritual in order to engage in meditation together, in order to engage in deep breathing together. Because really what's going on is actually co regulation when you're engaging in that type of activity where your your your heart rate, your rhythms are matching up to the other person's rhythm and really putting you in sync. And so that doesn't have to be about spiritual. And even with you're saying the intellectual, you know what, if I'm not that smart, well, you likely talk about something you saw on TV, something you saw on the news, something you heard on the radio that's intellectual as well. You have an opinion even if you don't feel like you're that smart.

 

Mathew Blades:
great. That's a that's a super answer. And I hope that helps clear it up for people.

 

Dr. Liz:
Can I ask you real quick, though, which one are you kind of leaning towards?

 

Mathew Blades:
Yeah, it's interesting. I believe that spiritual is what speaks to me the most. And and so that's where I tend to land. I also fall in the intellectual category a little bit, but from me, not so much from the creative arts perspective, where you necessarily land. But I'm really a fan of like good, deep stimulating conversation on on, on things that are important, you know, big, big picture stuff. Big, big like old wisdom types of conversations. Those are the things that I think get me super excited and, you know, you mentioned earlier that you and I both have that in common, that early exposure to to sex way before we were ready to to see it. And so in a lot of ways sex became real theatrical for me. And I, I wasn't I wasn't very intimate. I had a lot of sex, but I wasn't really intimate while I was having sex. Right? I was just doing the thing. And that has that's that's evolved, obviously, over time. But it it just took it took a long time. And I think it leads us to that perfect road of what I wanted to get into next, which is intimacy. Self-sabotage. Yeah. Such a thing. And I tell everybody when I speak, Elizabeth, I'm like, I am certified in self-sabotage. There's probably nobody in this room that's better at self-sabotage than I. You know, I'm a pro at this. So when you talk about intimacy, self-sabotage, I mean, I have a lot of thoughts running through my head right now, but I want to break this and break this down with you.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yeah. So intimacy, self-sabotage. When we have a belief system that maybe we're not worthy of being loved, we're not lovable, we're not valuable, people aren't safe. They're going to leave us anyway. So we have these core beliefs that get developed early on in childhood and they get developed through experiences. They don't just come out of nowhere. So these early interactions with our caregivers starts to send us the message about our own worth, about what we think about other people, what we think about relationships as a whole. And so when those messages start being sent, that becomes our programing. That's what we believe to be true. And so when we get into our adult relationships, if we've been programed with beliefs that maybe our needs are a burden or no one's going to show up for us anyways, so what's the difference then We will push people away because it feels safer to either not let them close at all, which I tend to fall into that camp, or if they do get close, then we're like, That's a little too close. That doesn't feel so safe. And so self-help a charge might look like see picking a fight or nit picking your partner, finding reasons not to like them. All of those can lead to this pushing away.

Mathew Blades:
Sending people to voicemail, not answering your text message back.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yeah.

 

Mathew Blades:
Right. Like these. These are the things and these are the things that we do. And we think like in that moment, almost like, well, I'll show them or I'm not going to get back, but it hurts us. We're the person that gets the sting from self-sabotage. It's not the other way around. What are some other examples? Let's help get crystal clear on this. What are some other things that you've seen in your time practicing that are good examples of self-sabotage so that people could be like, Well, I don't self-sabotage, and now we're about to prove them wrong. So take time if you need to.

 

Dr. Liz:
I believe really the conflict part is one of the main things and so that is that would be picking a fight over something that really doesn't need to be a fight that would be pointing out, criticize, using your partner. So really nit picking at them, nagging at them, or if they're not your partner yet, as you said, finding ways to avoid. So maybe we're not responding to them as quickly as we could or at all. And then also just even our daily habits can sometimes set us up for that. So what are we keeping ourselves really busy doing? How are we staying distracted so that we can have these excuses? well, I'm just really busy. I don't have time to date or I'm just really busy. I don't have time to be intimate with my partner. That's one of the most common ones that I hear in the most societally acceptable or unfortunately, one that I hear as well because we are a society of busy. So if we use that as an excuse, everyone gets it. That's probably the biggest and most common one that I see.

 

Mathew Blades:
I love that you said that so very much. I mean, because that that's the deal. I mean, I think I just put up a video on Instagram a few days ago and something like, did we all forget like, how stupid it was to be this busy all the time? Like, it's incredibly it's not good for us and it's not a good long term strategy at all. What do you think about self-sabotage and intimacy from like a diet perspective or a movement perspective? Yeah. Just what do you think about what would be examples of, like, that kind of self-sabotage?

 

Dr. Liz:
Well, even from the extent of in, I guess this is more of a question, but if somebody is struggling maybe with body image, is that what you mean? Like how that becomes.

 

Mathew Blades:
Yeah, right, right.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yeah. And we and I, we do see that commonly. So somebody generally and I don't want to stereotype this generally though I hear most often women will struggle with body image and so they'll talk about they don't want to be naked in front of their partner. But you're right, then they're not really engaging in the steps to help them to become comfortable with their partner. So then that also remains just as valid is the busy excuse, the insecurity? Excuse, excuse. And I hate to say that because we do have insecurities and and that is valid, but not doing anything about it, and then continuing to use that as the reason not to be intimate with your partner would certainly fall into the self-sabotage.

 

Mathew Blades:
Yeah. Okay. So we've identified intimacy, we've identified ways that we sabotage intimacy. We should probably talk about. And we're going to, by the way, in weeks two and in weeks three, get into stuff like relational programing. We're going to talk about understanding yourself more to be more intimate. We're going to talk about next week, actually like how we lose it and the most common struggles surrounding intimacy, fears of intimacy, that kind of thing. But what do you do with, you know, you got a problem. So because you got to work on it if you're going to get through it and I know from my own struggles that it's the fear of like what if? And it's usually the fear of what if it's really good? But how do you recommend that folks work through those types of things? Because, man, the best version is waiting right there on the other side and I want to encourage you to take it, but I know how hard it is. And what can we what can we offer them?

 

Dr. Liz:
Yeah, the first step is going to have to start with individual therapies. So or doing individual self work. So if we, you know, people listening therapy's not accessible. I hear you. I see you. I get that. But there is a lot of self work you could be doing, whether it's through books, finding things online, YouTube videos, trying to, you know, of course, find sources as reparable. You know that have that reputation of the reviews and things like that. But that's got to be the place to start. So one of the most common misconceptions or one of the most common barriers that I see happen when people want to improve intimacy is they will show up to something together, which is great if they've both done the work, because intimacy does feel like a joint problem, of course, because it's part of the relationship. And if it's lacking. But if you don't start by doing your own personal work and addressing those traumas, addressing your relational programing, you guys are both just showing up with your own stuff and trying to kind of like brush it under the rug while you're building up this other side, which is just not possible. So the first and foremost is you've got to address your traumas, you've got to increase your emotional regulation, increase your own emotional intel agents, and and that's the best place to start. And then from there, we can lead into the work together. And I'm happy to elaborate on that.

 

Mathew Blades:
Or I mean, I think we have to and probably need to say first, though, that like part one of that is in a journey all of itself, right? I think.

 

Dr. Liz:
Yes. And yeah, sometimes a long one. And that doesn't mean that we can't start doing the work as a couple at the same time. It doesn't mean we can't pick it up shortly after. But what I am saying is that if you don't address all of the stuff under the iceberg, then improving your communication skills that help us is not going to improve your intimacy. And that is not now. We're going to talk about when I get irritated because that would fall into that. That category is when people go to a couples counselor or they go to a sex therapist or they go wherever to seek help to really repair their relationship and really build this intimacy. And they're told, if you just communicate better, let me touch you some communications skills and you guys will be set to go, That truly breaks my heart because that is literally putting a Band-Aid on a limb.

 

Mathew Blades:
Just a broken arm, right? Yeah. Yeah.

 

Dr. Liz:
So I digress. But that is where you should start, is doing your individual work. And then when you come together to do couples work, the place that I start is by ensuring that both partner understands the relational programing of the other partner. So we have to understand that person, the other person's themes. We have to know what core beliefs they're operating on, which, like you said, we're going to get into in an upcoming episode so we can really dig in to that. But you have to understand your partner and you have to understand their raw parts. You have to understand their inner child in order to show up in the way that they need. And so that's where I always start, is with awareness, awareness of self, and then awareness of your partner. And then what we do from there is we dig into where are these areas of conflict coming up, where are you feeling disconnected? And we, we get that surface level information so that we can dig under it and find out what's actually going on.

 

Mathew Blades:
I am such a Dr. Elizabeth Fredrick fan. I am. I can't say it loud enough. I just love the terminology that you use. I love more than anything that you use that inner child language because it's so critical. It's such a big piece of the puzzle for so many people who are struggling. And they just they have no idea. We just recorded an episode today of another episode of Learn From People Who Lived it, and we interviewed this woman, Lucy and Lucy actually brought with her a picture of her when she was eight years old, and she showed the picture at one point in the interview and she said, This is who I do it for. Like, this is why I've done all the work. I'm giving this little girl what she needs. And by doing that, she's actually giving herself what she needs. She becoming a stronger version of herself. Obviously, she's becoming more confident. Her self-esteem is proving like it's the by product of re parenting. And I know you're going to dive into that week three relational programing. We're going to go so deep as ice cubes that will put you back to sleep. We are going to go all in on that episode. On on number three, let's start to wind down this first one with a couple of thoughts. And the first one is the idea that you're just done with somebody, you're it's not working anymore. There's no intimacy. There's no real reason for you to try to rev it up. And the overwhelming feeling that you start to have with yourself is, I think maybe I'm just done. This is the chapter that's ready to come to a close. How do you how do you lend some support to people that might be in that line?

 

Dr. Liz:
We're going to explore where that feeling is coming from. And we're also going to explore was the intimacy ever there to begin with? Was the chemistry ever there to begin with? So when I start working with a new client, that's one of the questions that I ask when they say they're in that should I stay or should I go dance, which is so common? And we explore, Was that there to begin with, there was that spark ever available to you? And if it was, then do you have a desire to bring the spark back? Which I am a really big believer that if that spark was there at one time, we can bring it back. But what's not talked about as often is that sometimes the spark and the chemistry was never there and the relationship started because it made sense for other reasons. Maybe it was functional, maybe it served a purpose that was beyond feeling romantically attracted or having chemistry with each other. And so when a couple comes to me and says that, you know, like either it was never there or it's been completely long gone, and there's the feeling of it that's going on, I don't believe that that can be forced or manufactured. I believe that it can be enhanced and strengthened, but you can't pull chemistry out of nowhere.

 

Mathew Blades:
You said something earlier and you got a little vulnerable. So I'll choose to do the same thing right here, right now, which is to say, because of the way that I was brought up, I had a tendency to really romanticize relationships. And when you talk about, you know, was it ever there to begin with, there were a lot of times or relationships where I had it so dreamed up in my head that it was a perfect relationship, that it was good to go, that I was getting everything I needed from that person. And so I wonder how you feel about folks like me who have a tendency to romanticize relationships because that can cloud our judgment on if those things are really there or not.

 

Dr. Liz:
Well, and romanticizing the relationship that that chemistry is something you feel or you don't. But what happens when we romanticize a relationship is that we force compatibility, we force shared values, we force that this person is showing up for us in the way that we need. And we tend to make a lot of excuses and justifications for that person's behavior when they're not actually doing that. But we're romanticizing it, if that makes sense. And so, you know, we can logically realize this person is not at all meeting my needs, but the emotional side of us, again, that inner child side of us who just wants to be loved and esteemed and adored and accepted can look past a whole lot of stuff in order to hold on to that what we're perceiving as love.

 

Mathew Blades:
Yeah, especially if we're getting one or two components from, you know, you're your scale of five, right?

 

Dr. Liz:
Sure. If we are feeling like this is the best it's going to get where I'm not going to find anyone else. Well, at least they pay attention to me. You know, again, all of these core beliefs start popping up. Then we're like, Well, it's fine. It's not that bad. Well, at least they do this. Well, at least they do that where the other side of us is like, okay, who are who? You fall in here?

 

Mathew Blades:
Who are you feeling? Okay, This feels like a good place to pause. Wrap up. Episode one Come back with episode two. We're really going to talk about how you lose intimacy, the common struggles as you see them. Doc We'll talk about fears of intimacy. And then there's a really interesting question that you and I kind of came to the conclusion we wanted to kick around, which is what if you're hardwired not to receive intimacy because of a trauma? And I know that's going to be a that's a heavy lift. But, you know, next next week, we'll we'll jump back in and talk about those things. Anything that you feel like we're leaving on the table here for this first episode.

 

Dr. Liz:
I would say that the main thing for this first episode really understanding intimacy, is, is the place to start. If you are struggling with this connection with your partner, it's so important to understand what intimacy actually is, as well as to understand some of these barriers to it. Unresolved traumas, frequent conflicts, insecure narratives, which we're going to dive into all of that. But awareness is key, which is the whole point of this first episode. We have to understand what is it? Why is it lacking if it is? And then we're going to get into what we can do about it.

 

Mathew Blades:
Okay, Sounds really good. Doctor Elizabeth Fedrick, a licensed professional counselor here in the state of Arizona. She lives down the 202 And Gilbert, Right. Isn't that where you are? Indeed, yes. Yeah. Cool. And she's got her own podcast, by the way. I want to make sure that I mention that it's called Relatable. Just like the sign right behind her. And so encourage people to check that out, too. All right. Good stuff. Well, listen, you do you and I'll see you in a week.

 

Dr. Liz:
See you then. Thank you, Mathew, for such an insightful conversation. And thank you all for hanging out. Unrelatable relationships unfiltered. Make sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel, Sign up for my newsletter and find me on Instagram at Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick.